I’ve posed some of those same questions to sports psychology trainer Rachel Lavin who has done wonders to help me stick to my personal goals (trainers need trainers, too, you know). I wanted to know:
Why do we set goals for ourselves in the first place? Should we treat our life like a business plan? Do we really want to reach these goals, or is there something holding us back in spite of what we tell ourselves, and others?
“We set a goal for ourselves because we believe that there will be rewards in its achievement, that we will feel better in the having of what we want,” Rachel told me.
“Those rewards are the good feelings you get in the doing; the feeling good about yourself and the overall sense of wellbeing.”
Much of what Rachel believes is rooted in a basic and powerful belief: That actions must be grounded in a purpose- the WHY. “Connecting to ‘the why’ is an inner process. It’s more than just knowing the reasons why you want to be fit — it’s being aware of the reasons that have evolved from inside of you. It’s more experiential and less intellectual. It’s making something important to you.”
The operative word for Rachel is “making”--creating, in other words. “Some people wait for a feeling of motivation to hit them like a bolt of lightning. Others think the way to get motivated is through negative self-talk, but the truth is that if your WHY is strong (stronger than your desire for that carrot cake for example), your motivation with grow exponentially.”
As for adherence, the stick to-it-ness of it all, Rachel offered a twofold perspective:
“First, people may experience some inner resistance. It helps to have the courage to explore what that may be telling you. Whatever the symptom of this resistance may be, there may be a greater underlying issue at heart. Whatever the issue may be, one needs to take a curious stance as opposed to a judgmental one. As soon as we judge ourselves harshly, all insight and understanding is interrupted."
Rachel continued: “ I say, let’s look at ourselves more with wonder and less with negative judgment. Acceptance of self is the solution that will enable us to move through the problems we face.”
The second part of the Rachel’s perspective: the tactics a client has chosen may be ill-fitted to his or her needs. This is where Bespoke Fitness comes in. Since everybody is different, the tactics of our program design are customized for each person, and easily tweaked and refined for ever shifting needs, and challenges.
Rachel’s beliefs are not only positive, they are a healthy contradiction to the decidedly American notion that the only measures of success are faster! and stronger! in conventional ways; and being highly critical of ourselves if and when we fail.